The spaceman says "everybody look down"

Yesterday/this morning, I was a mess. And I'm not feeling too hot at the moment either.

Fuck tequila.

Never again.

That is some nasty shit.

Anywho, this week's gone pretty smoothly. Nothing really major going on due to the fact that all my essays and whatnot are done and we be starting a few new courses. So it's all cool, just mostly doing readings before lectures and seminars. Fun fun fun.

Monday

Made it to my nine am lecture! .. Ten minutes late. But the lecturer was cool with it. In truth I later found out from Luke that I hadn't missed much cos the lecturer had only walked in about two minutes before myself.

So, I'm on my way to hand in my last essay that was set over the christmas/new years break and I get stopped by my short annoying lecturer who wants to talk to me about some pointless crap he coulda sent in an email.. Long story short. by the time he finished talking, the office was closed, got my essay in late. Then some twat spilt his drink like right down my jeans so I had to go home and get changed which meant I'd miss my politics seminar... I'm saying that like it's a bad thing.

So after changing jeans I headed back off to uni for a quick little meeting with my tutor who is more laid back than a Jamaican getting high. Funny that.. Right, so, last real major talking point about Monday. Walking back from my meeting, crossing the big ass main road right near where I live. I cross paths with one of the people I live with. So we're standing there, waiting to cross. Of the many cars to drive past us one of then goes past with the passenger window down and all I hear is

"OI!! Fuck off home nigga!"

Gotta love the originality... Pointless getting worked up about it, so I didn't. Turns out Emily (girl standing next to me also crossing the road) had never seen racism take place before... So naive.

So we gets home, I go off to my room and  chill out which was my original plan. However, what Emily say was. Black guy called a nigga and told to go home. The goes off to his room and stays there for a while. Twenty minutes into being in my room I hear a knock. "It's open.." I get an very odd greeting from a flatemate.

"Hey, you alright?"

".. Yea .. ??"

"Sure? Nothing's up?"

"Nah, I'm good."

"Oh, well, alright. See ya later."

This happened a further three times with my flatemates. It wasn't til about half an hour after the last person when I properly pieced together what the hell was going on.

Silly Rohan.

Tuesday

Made it to my nine am lecture! .. Fifteen minutes late. Again, the lecturer didn't seem to mind too much, although I do firmly believe it was more out of him fearing me. Turning up to this lecture was a grave mistake. This was my "Key political thinkers" lecture. Now, I have no interest in this module but I gotsta do it. Luckily it's got an essay at the end of it rather than an exam cos I'd fail that exam SO badly. To make matters worse. Instead of paying full attention in a lecture I know is gonna be a bitch, I spent an hour and forty-five minutes weighing up the pros and cons of growing an afro...

After that, I had another politics lecture to attend which I though was gonna be a bitch, but to my surprise it wasn't. Mostly cos we had Alex taking the lecture and not the weird French guy.

So that night it was off to the penny where I didn't get drunk, or even drink that much. Wasn't feeling it that night.

Wednesday

My free day! No alarm set on my phone, no need to do a damn thing. But there are always people who wanna fudge that up for you...

So I'm happily sleeping away musta been about half ten. And some ignorant mofo decides to knock on my damn door. And this is some heavy persistent knocking. So I get outta bed, make my way over to the door, grumbling the usual shit. "This better be damn good .. Getting a brother outta his damn bed on his day off ... Shit, I only wanna be notified if there's a fire.. A large one at that..." So I open my door, and there's some old ass white man. I was slightly taken aback. He spoke first, cos I was just staring eyes all glazed over.

"Err... I just got a call from the finance office. Turns out you haven't paid any money for you accommodation."

[Suddenly I kicked into life.]

Now what I wanted to say, and what I said were two completely different things. Here's what I wanted to say.

"Nigga. Is you crazy?! You got me outta my damn bed to tell me I haven't paid for something I know my parents paid for?!"

Here's what I said, see if you can spot the difference.. "What? Nah. My parents have paid in full at the start of the year. Nah, they got it wrong."

Despite my determination not to use the N word and stay calm I still got told to get myself down the finance department asap. So that was it, my free day was stolen. Just like that. I took a shower got myself ready and proceeded to uni. Fifteen minutes later I was in the finance office. Told the woman some guy told me to come here cos I haven't paid.

She told me I haven't paid.

I told her "I know I've paid."

She said "The uni has received no money" 

I told her "You better check again, £3,150 don't just disappear." 

She tapped away on her keyboard "Oh, wait, you have paid.. In full. Sorry."

Ain't that a bitch?

Thursday

Started a new module in media which meant a new lecturer. What did I gain from the lecture My new lecturer looks and sounds like Lauren lavern. And as Joshua can testify, speaking intelligently with a geordie accent just does not go.

Straight after the lecture came the seminar and all was going well until I really and truly started listening to what was expected of me. Turns out I've gotsta do a similar project to the bitch that destroyed peoples media A-level grades called "Critical Research".  Not cool.

Friday

My free day! Take two.

The day wasn't all that great to be honest. All I really did was watch the boondocks, go to sports direct to buy some new shin pads and arrange to view like four houses on Monday. A few hours later I headed off to the penny...

The initial plan was not to drink too much and to get pissed Saturday. That didn't work out so well. It became pretty clear that Tom, Andy, Dom, James, Anna, Emma, Aaron, James and myself were going to get shitfaced when Aaron called "Tequila time!" ...

Eventually some people were sick and thus headed off home, which left Dom, James and me left continuing the good fight. Which was the plan. but Dom got to a stage where talking and blinking at the same time became a real struggle for him. James decided to call it as night and was gonna take Dom home as they live in the same flat. James was quite drunk himself and carrying a semi paralytic  Dom less than a hundred meters home was a struggle. So I offered to help which was a real commitment. Cos they all live a minutes walk away from the penny whereas I live about a fifteen minute walk away from the penny. And who was helping me home in my drunk state? That's right, me!

So I got the drunk back to his flat and then I was on my way home. As I was walking back past the penny I bumped into Will and Aiden outside having a smoke. (At this point I realise this is where I shoulda continued home... I didn't.) So I started talking to them. Long story short, before I knew what was going on, I was back inside and just finished ordering a vodka redbull...

Upon hanging out with my second crew some girl started talking to me.. About me. (Now I get scared when people I don't know know me) So I had to stop her mid sentence and hastily ask "Who are you???"

It was all cool in the end though. Maddie lives will Will, Aiden, James and those peoples, I've just never met her before.

Well that was a pretty decent week. More of the same please.

Oh. And I've taken it upon myself to teach Dom everything I know about football. Which I didn't think would be a problem  until I asked the pretty straight forward question.

"What footed are you the, righty of lefty?"

I swear to chicken this was his reply.

"Um...... Mmm...... Right, I suppose."

A brief note on Dom.

He's a middle class, boarding school educated, possibly conservative, possibly inbred twenty year old male from Norwich. The last time he remembers kicking a football was on his ninth birthday. And he's never watched an entire football match prior to uni.

This could be a struggle.

And on a lighter note to end on... Everybody funk out!